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After a paper is accepted, it is subedited copyedited to ensure maximum clarity and reach, a process that enhances the value of papers in various ways. Nature 's subeditors are happy to advise authors about the format of their Articles after acceptance for publication. Their role is to. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essays. Earlier chapters have discussed using transitions for specific purposes in the planning of your writing.
Table When Mariah who you were introduced to in Chapters 5 and 6 revised her essay for unity, she examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas clear.
In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic. Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on screen. Do you agree with the transitions and other changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which would you keep and which were unnecessary? What effect does adding additional sentences have on the coherence of the paragraph?
When you read both versions aloud, which version has a more logical flow of ideas? When you revise to improve cohesion, you analyze how the parts of your paper work together. You look for anything that seems awkward or out of place. Revision may involve deleting unnecessary material or rewriting parts of the paper so that the out of place material fits in smoothly. In a research paper, problems with cohesion usually occur when a writer has trouble integrating source material.
Overusing paraphrased and quoted material has the same effect. Does the opening of the paper clearly connect to the broader topic and thesis? Make sure entertaining quotes or anecdotes serve a purpose. Have I included introductory material before any quotations? Quotations should never stand alone in a paragraph. Do I need to add to or revise parts of the paper to help the reader understand how certain information from a source is relevant?
Does my conclusion make sense based on the rest of the paper? Make sure any new questions or suggestions in the conclusion are clearly linked to earlier material. As Jorge reread his draft, he looked to see how the different pieces fit together to prove his thesis. He realized that some of his supporting information needed to be integrated more carefully and decided to omit some details entirely. Jorge decided that his comment about pizza and birthday cake came across as subjective and was not necessary to make his point, so he deleted it.
He also realized that the quotation at the end of the paragraph was awkward and ineffective. How would his readers know who Kwon was or why her opinion should be taken seriously? Adding an introductory phrase helped Jorge integrate this quotation smoothly and establish the credibility of his source. Print out a hard copy of your paper, or work with your printout from Self — Practice Exercise Read the body paragraphs of your paper first.
Each time you come to a place that cites information from sources, ask yourself what purpose this information serves. Check that it helps support a point and that it is clearly related to the other sentences in the paragraph. Identify places where you need to revise your writing so that readers understand the significance of the details cited from sources.
Skim the body paragraphs once more, looking for any paragraphs that seem packed with citations. Review these paragraphs carefully for cohesion. Review your introduction and conclusion. Make sure the information presented works with ideas in the body of the paper. Optional c ollaboration: P lease exchange papers with a classmate. Complete step 4. On a separate piece of paper, note any areas that would benefit from clarification. Return and compare notes. Understanding cohesion can also benefit you in the workplace, especially when you have to write and deliver a presentation.
If you choose to use these elements, make sure they work well with the substantive content of your presentation. For example, if you are asked to give a financial presentation, and the financial report shows that the company lost money, funny illustrations would not be relevant or appropriate for the presentation. Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence.
Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes. Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing. Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea.
However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may add information that is not needed to develop the main idea. When a piece of writing has unity , all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense.
When the writing has coherence , the ideas flow smoothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph. Did she cut too much, too little, or just enough?
Is the explanation of what screen resolution means a digression? Or is it audience friendly and essential to understanding the paragraph?
Collaboration: P lease share with a classmate and compare your answers. Now, print out another copy of your essay or use the printed version s you used in Self — Practice Exercises Reread it to find any statements that affect the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise. When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep.
Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity. Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process. Many companies hire copy editors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest possible final drafts of large writing projects. Copy editors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders check documents for any errors in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that have crept in.
Many times, these tasks are done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a variety of clients. Once you are certain that the content of your paper fulfills your purpose, you can begin revising to improve style and tone. Together, your style and tone create the voice of your paper, or how you come across to readers. Style refers to the way you use language as a writer—the sentence structures you use and the word choices you make.
Tone is the attitude toward your subject and audience that you convey through your word choice. Although accepted writing styles will vary within different disciplines, the underlying goal is the same—to come across to your readers as a knowledgeable, authoritative guide. Writing about research is like being a tour guide who walks readers through a topic. A stuffy, overly formal tour guide can make readers feel put off or intimidated.
Too much informality or humour can make readers wonder whether the tour guide really knows what he or she is talking about. Extreme or emotionally charged language comes across as unbalanced. To help prevent being overly formal or informal, determine an appropriate style and tone at the beginning of the research process.
Consider your topic and audience because these can help dictate style and tone. A strong research paper comes across as straightforward, appropriately academic, and serious. It is generally best to avoid writing in the first person, as this can make your paper seem overly subjective and opinion based. You can check for consistency at the end of the writing process. Checking for consistency is discussed later in this section. Note that word choice is an especially important aspect of style.
In addition to checking the points noted on Checklist Here are some of the points to check for:. Using plural nouns and pronouns or recasting a sentence can help you keep your language gender neutral while avoiding awkwardness.
Consider the following examples. As you revise your paper, make sure your style is consistent throughout. Look for instances where a word, phrase, or sentence does not seem to fit with the rest of the writing.
It is best to reread for style after you have completed the other revisions so that you are not distracted by any larger content issues. Revising strategies you can use include the following:. Read your paper aloud. Sometimes your ears catch inconsistencies that your eyes miss. Share your paper with another reader whom you trust to give you honest feedback. Another reader may be more likely to notice instances of wordiness, confusing language, or other issues that affect style and tone.
E dit your paper slowly, sentence by sentence. You may even wish to use a sheet of paper to cover up everything on the page except the paragraph you are editing. This practice forces you to read slowly and carefully. Mark any areas where you notice problems in style or tone, and then take time to rework those sections.
On reviewing his paper, Jorge found that he had generally used an appropriately academic style and tone. However, he noticed one glaring exception—his first paragraph. He realized there were places where his overly informal writing could come across as unserious or, worse, disparaging. Revising his word choice and omitting a humorous aside helped Jorge maintain a consistent tone. Read his revisions. Using Checklist You may use either of these techniques :.
Print out a hard copy of your paper or work with your printout from Self — Practice Exercise Read it line by line. Check for the issues noted on Checklist If you prefer to work with an electronic document, use the menu options in your word processing program to enlarge the text to or percent of the original size. Make sure the type is large enough that you can focus on one paragraph at a time.
Read the paper line by line as described in step 1. Highlight any areas where you notice problems in style or tone, and then take time to rework those sections. On a separate piece of paper, note places where the essay does not seem to flow or you have questions about what was written.
Return the essay and compare notes. After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers need most is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses. You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready.
This process is called peer review. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a final draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease.
The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session. One of the reasons why word processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that work groups have become a common feature in many businesses. Remember to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and one question for more information to the author.
The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience or your intended audience. It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes.
However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to consider that feedback in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments. You might get feedback from more than one reader as you share different stages of your revised draft.
In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do not understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it. Consider the feedback you received from the peer review and all of the revision exercises throughout this section. Our family started eating more soy and soy milk, and her levels eventually got much better.
During this time, all of us also lost quite a bit of weight. He believed that it was worthwhile to try this before placing her on medications. In order to support her, our entire family started drinking soy milk and walking in the evenings. Our family all lost quite a bit of weight, as well: my mother lost fifteen pounds and my father lost more than twenty. Her doctor tells her that if she continues this lifestyle change, she will significantly reduce her chance of heart problems in the future.
The second example not only contains more information, but it presents it in a believable and interesting way. By including specific details, the author appears to be an "expert," so the evidence is more persuasive. Your analysis or concluding observation is your way of "wrapping up" the information presented in your paragraph.
It should explain why the evidence supports your claim and why this supports the main thesis in your paper. The reader relies on you to analyze the evidence in the paragraph and explain why it matters to the claim and to the rest of the paper. This makes soy milk an important factor in heart health, so people should consider switching to soy milk. The discount for Federal employees and their spouses and eligible dependents will be applied to out-of-state tuition and specialty graduate programs.
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